Wednesday, May 11th, 2011
As MGM struggles against the seemingly unstoppable march of either bankruptcy or a buyout by Sony, movie studios are doing their best to get us back to the theaters and their No.1 hope is that we are all going to buy into the 3D thing (again). For those of us old enough to remember, there was a period of dabbling in 3D back in the 80’s with the green and red lenses on the glasses and, in fact, 3D film or stereoscopic film, goes way back to the 1950’s and in the roots go back further than that.
So here we are, movies being filmed in 3D in an attempt to pull us away from the Red Box dollar movie rentals and NetFlix. So, since my wife wanted to see a 3D movie, off we went to see Shrek 4 which was made in 3D rather than adapted retrospectively so we were assured of the best possible experience.
The first shock came at the ticket counter….. $32.50 for 2 tickets…..! We had a coupon which gave us a buck fifty off each ticket. With our thirty hard earned dollars paid we entered the foyer and was greeted by a very friendly cinema employee who issued us with our ..er …glasses for which to view this animated epic. Please understand, I wanted this 3D to be awesome. I really did, but apparently the best way to see a movie which cost $72 million to make, shown on brand new projection equipment which cost about $150,000 per theater, per screen and cost me thirty bucks for the privilege of viewing, is through a pair of yellow plastic sunglasses which must have cost all of 30 cents to make and the lenses seemed to be made of saran wrap which and were still covered in the sticky fingerprints and food remnants of the last patron. Due to the utter cheapness of the material the lenses are made, it seemed impossible to clean and they are dead flat allowing you to periodically catch glimpses of the reflection of your own face. This results in what might have been a wonderful and life changing experience into a “I can’t believe I paid extra for this” moment.
Moving on, once I had accepted the fact that I had to view this movie though a dirty window, I settled down with my beloved to enjoy the last of the Shrek movies. Two hours and some change went by and a pretty good movie was over. On the drive home my wife and I discussed the 3D effects. We came to these conclusions: 3D as it stands right now in our humble opinion, is a gimmick. Because of the letterbox format we view movies in, some of the effect is spoiled because the top and/or bottom of the image is truncated thus breaking the illusion. Personally, the glasses along with the features mentioned above, made my eyes water and, lastly, in reality 3D did not bring anything extra to the movie that I would miss if it weren’t there… except the image was very clear, detail was vivid. We’re thinking this might be part of what movie theaters need to do to bring back the public.
Movie theaters these days are often poorly maintained with overcharged and overrated food, with inadequately maintained equipment. The movie can be ruined by dirt on the screen, in the projector and crackly sound systems. At home I have a lovely sharp LCD which shows digital quality movies in stunning surround sound ANYTIME I want to view them, the floors are not sticky and the food is always good and I do not feel financially violated when the movie is over. 3D is not, as far as this movie lover is concerned, the answer. Friendlier, cleaner, more polite and well maintained theaters are. Maybe 360degree movies might be an idea…. I can’t recreate that at home…………yet!!!!
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